


"To Live would be an Awfully big adventure"

by MysticDigger



Series: His Impossible Request [2]
Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: POV Derek, POV Scott McCall (Teen Wolf), POV Sheriff Stilinski, POV Stiles Stilinski, multiple points of veiw
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-09-08
Updated: 2018-09-19
Packaged: 2019-07-08 12:20:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 8,713
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15930308
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MysticDigger/pseuds/MysticDigger
Summary: Please read 'His Impossible Request' before this one. Otherwise "Spoilers!"





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This story has taken a long time for me to figure out how to open. I have tried many different ways to get it going and it seems a sad goodbye was the way to go. Just like 'His Impossible Request', I'm not sure if or when this story will reach its conclusion but I have hopes that it will. Comments and feedback are encouraged and I look forward to hearing from you all. Thanks so much for taking the time to read my little story.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This Chapter is an edited version of the previous one posted. I would love to thank tobeconspicuous for beta-ing this chapter.

Derek hoped never to attend the funeral of a child again. His heart was in his stomach as he stood before the chapel, trying to hold back the memories and emotions he felt overwhelming him as Amy’s funeral reminded him of his past; the grief and guilt of his past mistakes. Guilt that he was the reason that so many members of his family were dead, that he was why Cora and his younger cousins would never grow up. Finding her alive after so many years was a miracle, but his cousins would never grow up.

Shrugging his shoulders, as if to physically shake off the memories, he walked up the stairs and into the the chapel that housed the body of another child. This was almost too much for Derek; but Stiles had done so much for him in the past, and the guilt that he hadn’t been there for Stiles when he was needed encouraged Derek to continue inside. Perhaps trying to help save Amy with the Biting Ceremony had been a way for him to ease some of the guilt he felt towards the death of his young cousins.

Looking around Derek could see Noah and Melissa talking with Scott and the pack, Stiles was with Kenzie talking with people Derek didn’t recognise. From their accents and their features Derek guessed they were members of Kenzie’s family. His assumption was confirmed when he walked past and heard Kenzie say “Thanks, Dad”. As he reached the pack Derek was engulfed by their familiar scents; he felt Scott pat him on the back, Malia and Lydia brush up to his side. Derek could clearly see the sadness each member of his pack displayed in their eyes and postures, but it was the scent of grief surrounding every person in the chapel that truly affected Derek, so many people here to remember Amy and the joy and light she bought into their lives. 

As Derek looked around he saw a woman walk to the front of the chapel, with her hair tied back, she was dressed in a smart suit; arriving at the podium she called for everyone to sit. 

Sitting down with the pack, Derek placed his hands on his knees squeezing them to keep his emotions under control. Suddenly Lydia, grabbed his hand and turning it around she held tight. Glancing at her, Derek wondered who gained more comfort from the gesture. 

“We are gathered here to farewell, Amy Claudia Charlotte Stilinski-Hall. My name is Hannah Thompson and I will be officiating this ceremony today.” 

“Amy was a happy and generous young girl, with the world before her. Unfortunately, she was taken from those who loved her most; far too soon. This ceremony today is about celebrating the joy and love that Amy bought to those who all knew her, which is why Stiles and Mackenzie have asked you all to come dressed in Amy’s favourite colours. As I stand up here looking over a sea of blue and purple I am struck by just how many people this little girl’s spirit touched. Before I invite those, who would like to speak, Mackenzie has asked me to read a short poem. ‘Do Not Stand at my Grave and Weep’ – Mary Elizabeth Frye.”

As Derek, listened to the poem the words seemed to strike his heart, it was as if his mother, his father and his siblings were speaking these words to him. He seemed to get lost in the words, barely registering when the officiant had finished the poem. 

“I would now like to invite Amy’s father, Stiles to speak”

As Stiles walked to the front, Derek noticed how broken he seemed. Stiles, the man who was always strong, always trying to save everyone else; was not able to save the one person in the world who meant more to him than his father. Derek watched as Stiles looked out over everyone gathered, After a long pause he began, “On behalf of Kenzie and I, I would like to thank you all for coming today.” Derek could hear every beat of Stiles’ heart as if it was a physical representation of his grief. 

“Every parent dreads having to farewell their child, and in saying goodbye to my baby girl;” Voice cracking and throat tight Stiles continued, “I can’t help looking back and recalling the day she was born….. In holding Amy for the very first time, I was amazed that I had helped to create such a beautiful and precious little person.” Derek heard the wonder and amazement Stiles had felt about his daughter; though now it was tainted by sadness. 

“In watching her grow, Kenzie and I delighted in discovering Amy’s personality develop.” Derek saw a sad smile cross Stiles’ lips, “We cheered her every success, encouraged her to face challenges with determination, flexibility and perseverance. Kissed her hurts, laughed with her, wiped her tears, found joy in her words; and had hopes and dreams for our precious girl.” Tears glistening at the corners, Stiles continued. 

“Kenzie and I both take comfort in knowing that, though she is no longer with us, she is with family.” Derek heard Stiles heart stutter. “She is with her Grandmothers, the women for whom she was named and who just like her; were taken from their families too soon.” Stiles swallowed as if clearing a lump from his throat, before continuing. 

“Amy, we will always remember you as a happy, friendly, generous and outgoing child; who was full of life and laughter.…..To paraphrase J.M Barre in Peter Pan, ‘We’ll hold you in our hearts until we can hold you in our arms.’ …….Mummy and I love you so much and we will miss you until the day we can join you.”

Derek listened as the celebrant invited Kenzie’s father up to speak and then Scott, finally the celebrant opened the floor up for anyone to speak. In the moment, of silence that followed Derek found himself standing and walking to the front of the chapel. 

Throat thick, Derek straightened his grey-blue blazer before reaching out to hold the sides of the podium; whitening his knuckles as he clung tightly to the wooden structure and looked over at the sea of people before him. Taking a deep breath he began, “Hello... My name is Derek,” swallowing tightly, “and for those of you who know me, you know that I am not one for speeches.” With a tight smile, Derek swallowed, “A few weeks ago, I met a vibrant and joyful little girl…. who was in love with her family. 

“A little girl who was excited to spend time with her Grandpop, her godfather and simply anyone she met along the way…... This little girl had a heart so open and full of love, that every new person she met was a potential friend.” Derek felt tears prick his eyes, he blinked them back before continuing, “I am so honoured to say that in the short time I knew Amy, she counted me as a friend. 

“We bonded over a book, which is something I used to love sharing with my younger siblings and cousins….. Of course Amy didn’t know this,” Derek felt a smile lift the corners of his mouth at the memory of that evening, “I think Amy simply wanted someone new to read to her. The book Amy had chosen, ‘The Very Brave Bear’ reminds us that no matter how big we are, or how brave we are there is always something that frightens us; but in overcoming those fears we grow stronger, get braver and maybe we even make new friends. So, thank you Amy for being my friend.”

Derek stepped away from the podium, heart slightly lighter and proud of what he had just done. With tears in his eyes and a small satisfied smile, Derek returned to his seat beside Lydia, he hoped that Amy was able to feel the love displayed for her here.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The title of this fiction, is a quote from J M Barrie and his famous character Peter Pan.


	2. “The moment you doubt whether you can fly, you cease for ever to be able to do it.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> “All children, except one, grow up.” - J M Barrie
> 
> (If only this was truth, in life)
> 
> It seems that peter pan has very relevant quotes for this story. So, I am sure that you will all be hearing more from him as it continues. 
> 
> Much of this chapter is an email exchange between the Sheriff and Kenzie.

Chapter two

In the three months since Amy’s death, Noah had hoped that his son would find the strength to put the bottle down and find a way forward. But walking in after a long shift to hear Kenzie crying and begging his son, was proof that it had not happened yet. “Stiles, please. I know I fell apart at the funeral, I left you alone that day. But I need you to stop drinking, I understand that you miss her, we all do. But there is nothing more to do, except find a way to keep moving forward. You are my family, Stiles. I can’t lose you too; but I can’t sit back and watch you drown yourself in a bottle. I need to find a way forward, I need to live. Please, please be better than this. Don’t let your guilt drive you. You did everything you could, we tried, we all tried but she was just too sick. The Bite didn’t take, she wasn’t strong enough to survive the changes in her body. It wasn’t your fault. It wasn’t your fault.”

Walking into kitchen, Noah saw his son sitting at the table with Kenzie kneeling on the floor in front of him, a half empty bottle in his hand. “She’s right son, it wasn’t your fault.”

“It is,” whispered Stiles, as he as he lifted his head to look at his father, with a hollow voice he continued, “I couldn’t save her. She’s my daughter and I couldn’t…. I, couldn’t. She’s just…, she’s, she’s gone.” Struck by the hopelessness in his son’s eyes, and the cracks in his son’s voice, there was nothing he could say. So, moving across the room Noah reached out to his son, placing a hand upon his shoulder; hoping that it provided some comfort to ease his son’s broken heart. It rested there for a moment before Stiles threw it off, with a sudden anger he stood up and stomped from the kitchen.

Noah watched the empty doorway long after Stiles had disappeared, only looking away when he heard Kenzie move off the floor. When he looked over he saw her pulling herself onto the chair recently vacated by his son. “I'm sorry Noah,” said Kenzie looking up at the older man, “I just don’t know what to do,” Looking at the broken woman before him with tears running down her face; Noah had no idea what to say. She had lost so much. “I want to be here for Stiles, but it’s so hard.” She continued, voice full of sadness, “  
“How can I help him, when I struggle every day to put myself back together? I just want my dad, I want him to hold me, I want so much to be home. But Stiles, leaving him? I can’t walk away from him, I can’t; can I?”

Holding out a hand, Noah pulled Kenzie from the chair and into a hug. He felt her heart break yet again, this time with indecision. He held her tight until the sobs subsided, when he pulled back Noah looked at the woman before him. Held her tear stained eyes with his own and gave her the permission she was seeking, “I know you love my son, but you need to do what’s right for you. If going home is what you need to do, then do that.” Sitting Kenzie back down on the chair and pulling one out for himself, Noah held her hand as he continued, “Your emotional health is important too, you deserve to find a way to move forward in your life, to find joy in your future. Kenzie, you gave me a granddaughter, and for that you will always be family. You will always be apart of this home; and I will always be here to support you. But perhaps the support that will help you most, is not here in Beacon Hills.” With one final squeeze of Kenzie's hand Noah stood and left the girl to her thoughts.

Two days later, Noah was not surprised to hear that Kenzie would be returning to Australia. He was sad to see her go, but understood that each person deals with grief in their own way. Perhaps what Kenzie needed was to return home, to be surrounded by people who knew her and familiar surroundings; to settle back into a familiar routine with the support of her family. He only wished that his son had been so understanding of Kenzie`s decision. In the few days it had taken for Kenzie to pack, gather the appropriate documents to transport the remains of Amy’s ashes to Australia; Stiles had been absent and obstinate, refusing to talk to Kenzie or anyone else. Now that it was time to leave for the airport, Stiles was not home. “I'm sorry Kenzie,” said Scott, “but we need to go or you’ll miss your flight.”  
“I know” said Kenzie still looking out the living room window for Stiles. Standing up, Noah walked over and placed his hand on her shoulder, “Kenzie, you need to go.” Turning her around he looked her in the eye, “We’ll look after him, I promise. But you need to do what is right for you.” finished Noah with a small smile.   
“Goodbye Noah, thank you for everything,” said Kenzie hugging Noah tightly, “Keep in touch”.  
“Always. Look after yourself, and remember you are important too.” Said Noah pulling out of the hug and picking up one of Kenzie’s bags. Scott had the others and was already on the way to the car. Noah helped to pack the bags into the trunk before giving Kenzie one last hug and watching the car drive down the street. 

When he turned back to the house he saw Stiles sitting on the stoop, head in his hands. Walking over and sitting down father and son sat in silence. With a sob, Stiles leaned into his father, “She’s gone, they’re both gone. Dad, please don’t leave me, I know I am a shit. But I need you.”  
“Stiles, I'm not going anywhere. I’ll always be here for you.” replied Noah pulling his son into a hug.

……………………………………………………………

Scott looked over to Kenzie, after placing her bags on the airline check-in. “He will be alright, we will look after him.”  
“I know, I just hate leaving him like this. I feel like I am abandoning him.”  
“Kenz, you’re not. Stiles has people around him who love him. We will support him no matter what; and you deserve that support too, from your own family.”  
“Thanks Scott, for understanding”  
“You have time for a coffee, before you need to head to your terminal, would you like to join me?”  
“Sounds great”   
When Scott got home, he checked the time, seeing that Kenzie was in the air he decided to send a quick email. One that would hopefully make her smile when she landed.

………………………………..

To: scott_macall@bhvc.com  
From: mackenzie.hall@gmail.com

Scott,

Thanks for those puppy pictures. They did bring a smile to my face.  
The flight was long but it was a nice surprise to hear from you so soon after saying goodbye. It gave me something to look at while stuck in Sydney, as my L.A flight was delayed and I missed my connecting flight to Canberra.   
It’s just after 10 pm here and I am so ready for sleep. I just have to stay awake for another half hour until I get to Dad's place. 

Have a great day, and of course animal pictures are always welcome in my inbox.

Kenzie

 

…………………………………...

To: noah.stilinski@bhsd.gov.com  
From: mackenzie.hall@gmail.com

Hi Noah,

Just a quick note to say that I arrived home safe and sound. The flight was long, but with fewer stopovers than last time.  
It is great being home, Dad is going to come with me on Saturday to the cemetery, to lay the rest of Amy’s ashes with Mum. Dad has applied to have a plaque put up for Amy in her favourite park. We have just received approval and so now it is just a matter of deciding what it should say. I like this quote from Peter Pan, what do you think?   
“Wait for me somewhere between reality and all we’ve ever dreamed.”   
Can you please run it by Stiles? I would really love to have his input.  
Kenzie.  
……………………………………  
To: mackenzie.hall@gmail.com  
From: noah.stilinski@bhsd.gov.com

Kenzie,  
Thanks for letting me know that you are home safe. I am glad that you are with your family, and I hope it helps to be surrounded by them. The plaque sounds like a wonderful idea, and the quote is nice. Stiles and I both like it. Lay a flower for Amy from me on Saturday.  
Noah  
………………………………………….  
To: mackenzie.hall@gmail.com  
From: scott_macall@bhvc.com

Hi Kenzie,

I happy that you liked those pictures so much, so I sent you some more. How are you settling in at home?

My day was full of adventure! I performed dentistry on a dog, removing two teeth. Helped a cat deliver her litter of four, (this is one of the pictures). I even became friendly with a rattlesnake, who had been injured sheltering from the cold in the wrong place. The bastard bit me three times, (lucky my superpowers kicked in), and he calmed down; so, I was able to sedate him and stitch him up. He should be fine to return back to the wild in about a week or so after the stitches are removed. Hopefully he will be friendlier for round two. (his picture is in there two, I called him Morty)  
Enjoy,

Scott

 

………………………………………….  
To: scott_macall@bhvc.com  
From: mackenzie.hall@gmail.com

Scott, 

I was very happy to discover that you were pulling my leg, in regards to Morty’s picture. I might live on the continent with some of the world’s most venomous snakes. But that doesn’t mean I enjoy seeing them. In fact, it’s probably the opposite. How is old Morty, though? Back in the sticks and with his scaly mates, I hope and not likely to bite the friendly neighbourhood vet.

It’s been nice to be back at home with the family, especially as they can make me a cup of tea without the use of a microwave.  
I took drive around today, just to places we used to go with Amy. It was nice, but hard. I drove past the school she would have attended had she not gotten sick. That was particularly difficult, seeing the children playing in their uniforms, knowing that Amy would never have that moment. Would never have that first day of school, it is such a big milestone and she missed. It breaks my heart thinking about all the experience she will never get. 

Sorry about the sad ending of this email.

Kenzie  
………………………………….

To: mackenzie.hall@gmail.com  
From: scott_macall@bhvc.com

Kenzie,

Never fear that you can’t be real with me. You said goodbye to your daughter just a few months ago, of course you are going to have times where you're going to be sad. I want to hear about them, I’m sad that I will never her Amy’s voice over the phone, never hear her tell me about her first day of school. Never get to tell her what a loyal and great friend her father was. I also really wanted to tell her all the stupid and ridiculous things Stiles and I did as kids.

Her picture is on my office desk, and everytime I see it. I think about her calling me ‘Uncle Scott’. I was so proud to have that title, and to have been given such a special role in Amy’s life. Remember that she was loved, and we all miss her.

P.S. Morty has returned home, he even seemed to say thanks on his way home.

Scott  
………………….

To: scott_macall@bhvc.com  
From: mackenzie.hall@gmail.com

Scott, 

I was very happy to discover that you were pulling my leg, in regards to Morty’s picture. I might live on the continent with some of the world’s most venomous snakes. But that doesn’t mean I enjoy seeing them. In fact, it’s probably the opposite. How is old Morty, though? Back in the sticks and with his scaly mates, I hope and not likely to bite the friendly neighbourhood vet.

It’s been nice to be back at home with the family, especially as they can make me a cup of tea without the use of a microwave.  
I took drive around today, just to places we used to go with Amy. It was nice, but hard. I drove past the school she would have attended had she not gotten sick. That was particularly difficult, seeing the children playing in their uniforms, knowing that Amy would never have that moment. Would never have that first day of school, it is such a big milestone and she missed. It breaks my heart thinking about all the experience she will never get. 

Sorry about the sad ending of this email.

Kenzie  
………………………………….

To: mackenzie.hall@gmail.com  
From: scott_macall@bhvc.com

Kenzie,

Never fear that you can’t be real with me. You said goodbye to your daughter just a few months ago, of course you are going to have times where you're going to be sad. I want to hear about them, I’m sad that I will never her Amy’s voice over the phone, never hear her tell me about her first day of school. Never get to tell her what a loyal and great friend her father was. I also really wanted to tell her all the stupid and ridiculous things Stiles and I did as kids.

Her picture is on my office desk, and everytime I see it. I think about her calling me ‘Uncle Scott’. I was so proud to have that title, and to have been given such a special role in Amy’s life. Remember that she was loved, and we all miss her.

P.S. Morty has returned home, he even seemed to say thanks on his way home.

Scott  
………………….

To: scott_macall@bhvc.com  
From: mackenzie.hall@gmail.com

Thanks Scott

…………………………..

To: mackenzie.hall@gmail.com  
From: scott_macall@bhvc.com

Your welcome. 

…………………………………………  
To: scott_macall@bhvc.com  
From: mackenzie.hall@gmail.com

Scott,  
I have great news! I have found a new job and I start on Monday! It’s working admin in a gym, not something I'm particularly qualified for. But it should be fun, and my brother Max is a trainer there, so at least I’ll know someone before I start.   
How is Stiles going?

Kenzie

………………………………………………..

To: mackenzie.hall@gmail.com  
From: scott_macall@bhvc.com

Kenzie,

It is so great to hear about your new job. I hope your first week went well.  
Know that Stiles will be ok. He will find his way. We are all here to support him. It will just take time.  
I promise that if there is anything you need to know, I will tell you.

Scott  
…………………………………………….

To: mackenzie.hall@gmail.com  
From: scott_macall@bhvc.com

Kenzie,

So, Malia and I hooked up last night. We dated for a while back in high school and the beginning of collage. We’re having coffee later today to talk about where we go from here. I think I would like to give it another go. Back then we were in two different places in life both going in different directions.  
So how was your first week of work?

Scott  
…………………………………………..

To: scott_macall@bhvc.com  
From: mackenzie.hall@gmail.com

Scott,

I really hope your coffee date was successful.

My first week at work was great. Everyone has been really nice and welcoming. Max told some of the girls that I used to play netball, and they have invited me to join their social summer team. I think I am going to give it a shot. Of course, I will have to get back in shape a bit. Though fortunately I work in a gym and have a couple weeks to build up my stamina and re-learn my ‘old skillz’, before I fully commit to the team.  
So how are things at the vet clinic? I am missing my regular fix of cute animal pics.

Kenzie

…………………………………….

To: mackenzie.hall@gmail.com  
From: scott_macall@bhvc.com

Kenzie,

As requested here are the animal pictures.  
Things at work are going great. It’s things outside of work that have been a bit more complicated. Malia and I have agreed to keep things on the down low. Much easier to do around people without super senses.  
Plus, there have been a few uninvited guests in town which have caused a few issues. But they were soon resolved and things are back to normal.

Scott

…………………………………………………

To: noah.stilinski@bhsd.gov.com  
From: mackenzie.hall@gmail.com

Hi Noah,

It has been a busy month since the last email. I have started back at work, it’s nice to have a routine again but the mornings are far too quiet. I have also started looking for a place of my own. We gave up our flat when we left for Beacon Hills. I think I am grateful for this, I don’t think I would want to go back there again, too many memories. But I have been to the park; the plaque has been installed and it looks beautiful nestled under a new young eucalyptus tree covered in pink blossoms. 

I hope you, Stiles and everyone is well.

Kenzie

………………………………………….

To: mackenzie.hall@gmail.com  
From: noah.stilinski@bhsd.gov.com

Kenzie,  
It is wonderful hearing about how well things are going for you. I am well, but things at the station are not so great. We have had a couple deputies transfer out and so are looking for replacements. Which means longer hours for the rest of us. Scott has found himself a new girl, he seems to be keeping it pretty close to his chest. Melissa is particularly curious to discover her identity.

Stiles has continued to struggle with things, but Derek has been around a bit and seems to be helping Stiles. He has been drinking less and seems to be finding his way forward. Though just like you, there is a long road to go before things are alright again.  
I hope things continue to go well for you.  
Noah

……………………………………….  
To: noah.stilinski@bhsd.gov.com  
From: mackenzie.hall@gmail.com

Noah,  
I have been checking in with Scott. I think you will be surprised to discover who he is seeing. But I have been sworn to secrecy, so won’t ruin the surprise. 

I am glad that Stiles has got a good friend in Derek. I think he is a good person to help Stiles. They seem to have a great understanding of each other.

Sorry that you have been working such long hours, hopefully things will settle down for you soon.

I have been invited to play netball again, just a social league with some of the girls from work. It is nice to be active again, in something that I was so passionate about for so long. Not sure if Stiles ever told you, but I had been selected for the for a state try-out. Never made it; found out I was pregnant with Amy a couple weeks before the try-outs and that seemed far more important to me. Still it is nice to be back doing something I that bought me so much fun and satisfaction. Even if the sport did break my finger.

Please give my love to Stiles and tell him that I would love to hear from him.  
Kenzie.

……………………………

To: mackenzie.hall@gmail.com  
From: noah.stilinski@bhsd.gov.com

Kenzie,  
You were right, things have eased up a bit at the station. We have one new recruit, a young woman from a neighbouring town. She moved here for her partners’ work. It has been pretty easy transition as she has policing experience and seems to be getting along with everyone at the station. Her girlfriend has taken on a teaching position at Stiles’ old high school. Hopefully it will be far less exciting there now, than it was while my son attended, but in this town, who can tell.

How did your game go? When I told Stiles that you were playing again, he seemed really happy for you. He said that you played Goal Attack, he even tried to explain the game to me, I have to admit that it went a bit over my head. Especially when he attempted to explain the rules to me. Though that could have been because he used the salt and pepper packets at the diner to explain the game, the rules and the various positions.

What I did get from all of it was that Stiles was very proud to hear you were playing again.  
I have encouraged him to reach out to you, I hope he does.

Noah  
……………………………

To: scott_macall@bhvc.com  
From: mackenzie.hall@gmail.com

Scott,

I play my first game tomorrow, I have been in the yard practicing my goal shooting (luckily dad still has my old netball hoop up beside the house) and ball skills every evening and weekend for the last few weeks. I am excited, nervous and a bit sad when it comes to playing again. It’s actually a bit bittersweet. I loved playing especially when Stiles and Amy came along. They were at all my games, I loved having them there to cheer me on. I stopped playing because Amy was sick and needed me. Even though dad and my brothers have all promised to come, to the game; I think it will still be a bit lonely. I am trying to focus on the positives though. Being back playing something, I love feels nice, it feels like a positive step forward.

Kenzie

…………………………………………….

To: mackenzie.hall@gmail.com  
From: scott_macall@bhvc.com

Kenzie,

How did your game go?

When I walked into the diner for lunch today, The sheriff and Stiles were there and were getting some very nasty looks from the waitresses. When I went to say hello, I saw sugar poured over the table and salt and pepper packets scattered across the table. Turns out Stiles was attempting to explain netball to the sheriff, it was so funny. The sheriff was trying to take in everything Stiles was saying, while also trying to figure out how big of a tip he would need to leave to make up for the mess on the table. It has been a while since I have seen Stiles so enthusiastic and animated. I think he was very happy to hear about you playing again. 

He still smells sad, but I think he has slowed down on the drinking. I think Derek has had a lot to do with it, they seem to have been spending time together. I suppose that they can relate, they both feel guilty for the deaths of their families. Of course neither one is responsible. But what you feel and what is truth can be very different things.

Scott

P.S Mom has another date with the sheriff tomorrow. That makes 3 in two weeks.

………………………………………………..

To: noah.stilinski@bhsd.gov.com  
From: mackenzie.hall@gmail.com

Hi Noah,  
The game was great! We lost, but it was just great to be back out there again on the court. I'm very glad to hear that things have settled at the station. Any luck finding a second deputy?

As much as I would love to hear from Stiles. I understand that it might be hard for him to talk to me. We left things in a very bad place.

Please let him know that I have nothing to forgive him for, (if that is what is holding him back); and that I have nothing but love and friendship for him. He is my family and we have been through a lot together.

Scott mentioned that you and Melissa have been out together a couple times, is there anything there or is it just wishful thinking from Scott?  
; P

Kenzie.

………………………..

To: mackenzie.hall@gmail.com  
From: noah.stilinski@bhsd.gov.com

Not you too, Kenzie!

When will those boys learn that we are just good friends, even Stiles has been on my back about it

Unfortunately, it’s busy at work so I will have to leave it there.

Hope you and yours are well.

 

Noah.

…………………………………..

To: scott_macall@bhvc.com  
From: mackenzie.hall@gmail.com

Scott.

You better watch out mate. I have heard from sources that Melissa is keen to know who you have been seeing. Remember if you butt in to her romances, she can but into yours. Not to mention that fact that if, you and Stiles keep hassling them; Melissa and Noah will never get together.

The game was great I played a few different positions, with the the third quarter off; and finished in goal attack. It was great I got in a few great shots. Even one from the edge of the goal circle; when that one went in, I expected to hear Stiles and Amy cheering. They always did when I made those long shots.  
Please keep an eye on Stiles next weekend? I know it will be a tough time for it us both; as Amy’s birthday is that Sunday. I have taken the Monday off from work. I'm not sure how I will handle the day but I thought having some extra time would me a safe idea.

I know I don’t need to ask; but please, please be there for Stiles and Noah; and please look after yourself too. 

Kenzie

………………………………………………………..

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope the emails were not to jumpy, it seemed a good way to build the chapter and move the story forward. I definitely want to keep Kenzie a part of the tale and this seemed a good way to do that. 
> 
> As always comments and feedback are encouraged, and thanks for keeping with the story.


	3. “Rivers know this: there is no hurry. We shall get there some day.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well our Chapter title comes to us from another childhood classic. (winnie the pooh- A.A Milne). But don't worry I have some more Peter Pan quotes waiting in line for their time in my little spotlight.
> 
> As always, comments, feedback and constructive criticisms are alway welcome and encouraged.
> 
> I hope you are all still enjoying the story.

Chapter four

Derek was about to take a sip of coffee when he heard footsteps approaching his door. Putting his mug on the bench he walked over. sliding the door open he recognised the scent of his alpha, moments before being greeted by the familiar face of Scott.  
“Scott…”  
“Derek”  
“Do you want a coffee?” he asked stepping back allowing the younger man into the loft.  
“No, thanks. I just came to talk…. about Stiles.”  
“Okay” replied Derek closing his door and walking back to the kitchen. Scott followed, leaning against the bench when Derek stopped in the kitchen.  
“I know that you have been spending time with Stiles, which I think is great. I just came to ask if you could spend some time with him next weekend. It’s Amy’s birthday on the Sunday so, it will obviously it will be a tough time for Stiles; and you seem to be the only one Stiles will talk to.”  
It took Derek a moment to come up with an answer, “Sure”. Scott watched Derek, as if waiting for something more to come from the older man. When it didn’t, he moved off the bench and headed to the door, with a ‘thanks’ thrown over his shoulder he left the loft. 

Derek finished his coffee, before collecting his phone and keys from the bowl at the end of his bench. The keys went straight to his pocket by the phone stayed in his hand. Staring at it Derek tried to think of something to send to Stiles. None of the options that entered his mind seemed to work, so giving up Derek shoved the phone in his pocket and headed out to work. 

As he drove to the construction site, where he was coordinating the restoration of an old Victorian home; he thought about how Stiles and he had been catching up for the last few months. They had all seemed to come about fairly organically. Aside from their first unexpected meeting after the funeral; they had just met at the diner or a café, chatted and left. None of their conversations had been that in depth. Mostly just Stiles rambling on about one thing or another. Though there had been many times where the two of them had simply sat in silence, sharing a table. Derek had never thought he would see the day where Stiles could be silent for more than thirty seconds, especially if another person was in the vicinity.  
His understanding of Stiles had changed a lot since the younger man returned to Beacon Hills. He was no longer the bouncy teenager; though he still seemed eager to jump into conversations with a sarcastic comment. Derek could see that Stiles had grown, he had matured into a dedicated father and a strong friend, willing to return to the place that took so much from him. Derek really hoped that Beacon Hills gave something back to Stiles. 

What could he do to help Stiles on the following Sunday? Derek struggled to deal with the birthdays of his family. Sometimes the dates would haunt him for months or weeks. Other times they would just appear, when he would be signing a document and putting the in date. The best and the worst times would be when the date past without notice. Yes, Derek felt guilty that date had past without his notice; but alternatively there was none of the stress that came with an approaching date. No reason to worry about what he should do to mark the occasion. Derek had no idea what he could do to help Stiles on his daughter’s birthday. Half the time he didn’t know what to do to help himself in that situation. 

When Derek arrived at the house he was restoring, his thoughts were quickly overcome with new list of worries. The wrong tiles had been delivered for the bathroom, the paint was the right colour for the hallway, but this new tin was shiny whereas the previous tins had been matte, so the paint didn’t match and would have to be repainted. There were problems with the plumbing and the electrics, that needed to be sorted. 

When Derek returned home; tired sweaty and in desperate need of a shower, the faint trace of his alpha’s scent reminded of his of the morning’s conversation. After a quick shower, Derek headed to the kitchen to start on dinner. Looking in his fridge he grabbed last night's leftovers, happy that he had made extra the night before. Tipping the stir-fry and rice in a bowl he placed it in the microwave and watched three minutes countdown. 

As he waited for his dinner to heat up, Derek remembered how he had found Stiles a couple weeks after the funeral. Derek had been jogging through the preserve one evening when he had smelt Stiles. So, he changed course, followed his nose and found Stiles sitting in the middle of a clearing. It was the same one that the ceremony had been held. Stiles had his back to Derek and even though he couldn’t see the bottle, Derek could smell the alcohol surrounding Stiles. Walking as loudly as possible, Derek approached the grieving father, sat down and took the bottle of whiskey from Stiles. Stiles watched him take the bottle, but said nothing. It was not until Derek had raised the bottle to his mouth and swallowed the last quarter of amber liquid that Stiles said anything.  
“Hey, fat’s mine! Why’s shoe drink’n, sat andyway? Itsh, not goda do anyfing for you!”  
Derek had looked at the indignant person to his side, “It’s not really doing much for you either; besides I couldn’t tip it out, you would have gone off at me for wasting it on the trees or something.”  
“Shood not”  
Derek choose not to respond to that verbally, merely raising a single eyebrow at his companion, before turning away and looking at the trees in front of them.   
This was the first time Derek had been confronted by a silent Stiles. After a while Derek looked over, expecting to see Stiles passed out beside him. He was surprised to see Stiles still awake and staring into the distance. Stiles didn’t look over at him, but seemed to have sobered up, as his speech was much clearer than it had been before; his voice when he spoke was hollow and seemed to hold almost no emotion.  
  
“It’s my fault Amy is gone. If I had not been so focused on Scott biting her; if we had just stayed in Australia; she would still be here. We would have had her with us for just that little bit longer. I couldn’t today, I just couldn’t. Kenzie and I had planned to divide Amy’s ashes between each of our mom’s plots. We even spoke to our families about changing the inscriptions to include Amy. Today was the day we were going to do that with mom, but I just couldn’t handle being there. I drove to the cemetery, but couldn’t go in; I just left Kenzie there with my dad. I don’t even know if they went through with it. I hope they did. God, I hate myself so much.”

Derek was interrupted from his musing when the microwave beeped to inform him his meal was done. Grabbing a beer from the fridge; he carried it along with his meal to the breakfast bar, pulled out a stool to sit down and began his meal. ‘Maybe he just needs to hit something?’ Derek thought before spearing a carrot and beginning his meal.  
So, once the meal had been finished Derek, grabbed his phone and sent of a message to Stiles. 

To Stiles, 7:49 pm:  
  
I need a hand with a couple things next weekend, would you mind helping me out?  
…………………………………………….  
From Stiles, 8:03 pm:  
  
Sure, what are we doing?  
…………………………………………….  
To Stiles, 8:11 pm:  
  
I need to knock out a few walls, in a new place I'm renovating and I can’t get any of the usual guys to help out as I need them at another place.  
……………………………………………  
From Stiles, 8:13 pm  
  
Sounds like something I could help with  
…………………………………………….  
To Stiles, 8:14 pm  
  
Thanks, I’ll send you the details later when I have worked out times. Probably morning though  
………………………………………….  
From Stiles, 8:15 pm  
  
No worries.  
………………………………………….  
From Stiles, 8:15 pm  
  
What are you doing right now?  
……………………………………………

Since that night, Derek and Stiles had been texting regularly. Mostly it was Stiles initiating their text conversations. Derek felt that perhaps, it was just Stiles attempting to distract himself from his grief.  
Derek could understand it, when his family had died, he had wanted nothing more than to forget everything that had happened. His guilt was overwhelming, it wasn’t until Peter killed Kate that he had been able to grieve. Of course, Kate came back. Which forced him to relive his past; both emotionally and literally.  
Spending time with Cora, outside of the chaos of Beacon Hills also helped him to deal with his emotions. They were able to connect, share memories of their family. In fact, those moments with Cora were probably what helped him the most. Derek had been too guilty, and angry with himself to grieve with Laura after the fire.  
Derek hoped that having Stiles bang in some walls today; would help him deal with his unresolved frustrations, anger and guilt over Amy’s death.


	4. "What day is it?" - "It's today"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This Chapter is a quote from Winnie the Pooh - A.A Milne
> 
> As always comments, feedback and constructive feedback are alway welcome and encouraged.

Stiles was not looking forward to this weekend. For the last few months he had been looking for ways to distracting himself, usually down a bottle. But today he couldn’t; the bottle might get him through the weekend, but that would be it. Eventually he would wake up, with a splitting headache and the whole in his heart would still be there staring back at him. When Derek had asked for his help, Stiles had said yes without thinking. It had seemed like a busy way to spend a couple days. If he had remembered what tomorrow signified he would have said no to the request. Now it was too late, dragging himself out of bed, he skipped his shower figuring that whatever Derek had him doing, was going to be messy. So, he shrugged on some old clothes and his converse shoes. He probably needed work boots but he didn’t have any, so they would have to do. Leaving his room, he headed to the kitchen, grabbing a bowl of his father’s bran cereal, (the fruit loops had not been touched since Amy last ate them) and a coffee he headed to the living room and flicked on the TV. 

By the time he had finished his tasteless cereal and coffee, Derek was pulling up the drive. Stiles returned his bowl and mug to the kitchen before grabbing his keys and heading out to meet Derek. Without a word Stiles, opened the door and buckled his seatbelt. Derek reached behind Stiles’ seat, before handing over an old pair of work boots. “I wasn’t sure if you had boots, so I bought these just in case. There is an extra pair of socks tucked inside if they’re too big.”

Taking the boots, Stiles turned them over, they looked about the right size, maybe just a bit wider than his own feet. With a ‘thanks’ Stiles placed the boots in the footwell, before continuing, “I’ll put them on when we get there, wherever `there` is. What is the plan for today anyway?”

As Derek drove to their destination he explained. “I need to knock down the old wall and tidy up before the carpenters arrive on Tuesday to put up the new walls. Two days of demo, and one of clean up, should get everything done before the carpenters show up on Tuesday.”

“So, that’s it just hitting walls and lugging rubble?”

“Pretty much, think you can handle it?”

“Sounds manageable.”

When they arrived at the house, Derek had taken him thorough it, marking all the walls that needed to come down. He had then handed Stiles a hard hat, a mallet and goggles and left him to it. 

With each swing of the mallet Stiles felt his muscles strain, his mind ease. He was able to focus completely on his task, finding it very freeing. For the first time since Amy’s death he was able to shut his mind to everything, to the pain, the guilt, the grief. Stiles allowed his focus to narrow to the rhythm of the mallet each time it connected to the wall.   
Stiles could hear Derek banging away at his own walls, and occasionally saw glimpses of the other man when either man were taking barrow loads out to the skip-bin in the yard.   
Four hours later Stiles had knocked out two walls and was part way through a third when he caught Derek waving to him from the side. “Lunch?” he asked holding up a cooler. Pulling off the goggles, Stiles leaned his mallet against the broken wall he had been working on and walked over, following Derek outside. They found a spot in the week winter sun, as Derek opened the cooler he asked, “Do you want the turkey sandwich or the ham?”

“Turkey”

“How are you holding up? Think you could manage another couple of hours?”

“I can definitely feel the burn, but I’m good to keep going.” After making his way through one half of his sandwich, he continued with, “Thanks for the boots by the way, if I hadn’t been wearing them, you would be sitting with me in the hospital while they reattached my toe.”

Not expecting the comment, Derek nearly choked on the sip of water he had just taken, “Your welcome”, said Derek once he had gotten his breath back. 

“When did you get into renovations?” asked Stiles once Derek had gotten his breath back.

“About five years ago”

“Care to elaborate?” prompted Stiles

“When the county knocked down, my old house. I suddenly realised that I should have done more. I should have respected what the house had meant to me and my family. Sure, it was just bricks and wood, but it had been the home of generations of my family. Its walls had seen children grow up to have their own children, I should have recognised that and tried to preserve its history. 

About five years ago, I saw another house that had burnt down a couple counties over, so much of its original features reminded me on my home. I contacted the owners, said I wanted to restore it, and asked if they would let me. Turns out they weren’t interested in keeping the house so I bought it and got to work. Took me a year to do all the work, but I was determined to complete it on my own. By the time it sold, I had discovered something I was good at, something that gave me purpose. So, I bought another house, restored it and sold it. The only difference now is that I hire people to help me with the work which means sometimes I’ll have projects overlap. Which is why I have you helping out this weekend.”

“So that’s all I am to you, free labour?”

“Only if you don’t want me to pay you?”

The conversation ended once the sandwiches had been consumed and the two men headed back inside to knock down some more walls.   
..................................................................  
When Stiles arrived home, took his borrowed boots off at the door, placed his wallet and keys on the entry table and headed upstairs to the bathroom. Stripping off his dust covered clothes he stepped into the shower, and watched at the warm water eased his tired muscles and washed away the dust that lay over his skin. The dust turned the water brown and grey as it was swept down the drain, Stiles shook himself out of his tired stupor to scrub off the last of the dust and to wash his hair. Once sufficiently clean he turned off the shower, dried himself and headed to his room where he dressed, in an old T-shirt and sweats. Before heading down to join his dad for an early dinner, grateful that his father had cooked. After seeing his father out the door his way to shift, Stiles headed back upstairs to his room. 

Collapsing on his bed he curled himself around Amy’s blanket, lamenting that it no longer smelt of her. He had discovered the crocheted blanket when he returned from hiding out, the day that Kenzie left. Kenzie, had left it for him folded on his bed; this kindness from Kenzie was yet another thing to inspire his guilt. Guilt that he had not saved his daughter’s life, guilt that he had dragged both Amy and Kenzie across the globe for nothing. Guilt that his insistence for the bite, had forced his best friend to ultimately be the cause of his daughter’s death. Guilt that he had fallen apart, not able to find purpose and direction, a burden on his friends and family. 

As angry as he had been when Kenzie said she was leaving, he was now very happy that she had found away to heal herself. He had been delighted when his dad told him that Kenzie was doing good, that she had found a job and especially when dad told him that she had re-discovered her passion for netball. 

The blanket may have inspired guilt but it also provided comfort and a way for Stiles to still feel connected to both Amy and Kenzie. Since discovering it on his bed he had been sleeping with it, holding it tight imagining that Amy was snuggled inside the blanket safe in his arms.  
……………………………………………………….  
When Stiles woke the next morning, he felt every movement of his body, every ache for the day before. Not allowing himself to dwell on the significance of the day he dressed, ate breakfast and put on the borrowed boots while he waited for Derek to pick him up for another day of hard labour. 

When the two arrived at the house, Stiles left Derek at the threshold; collected his goggles, hard hat and mallet from where he had left them yesterday and went back to knocking down the assigned walls. Just like the day before Stiles found comfort in the rhythm of each swing, though this time he felt his shoulders and back protest at each swing; until his muscles had warmed up and that strain become just another part of the rhythm he experienced as the walls came down.

**Author's Note:**

> The title of this fiction, and this chapter are both quotes of J M Barrie and his famous character Peter Pan.


End file.
